11: Yes, Women Can Rape Men

Posted on | July 25, 2009 | 1 Comment

It’s sadly still not uncommon to hear the assertion that “it’s not possible for a woman to rape a man.”

Yes, it is.  And it happens.

How is quite simple.  Just like with any form of rape, it need not involve a penis, and it also need not a vagina being penetrated.

A woman who non-consensually penetrates a man anally (or in the case of trans men, anally or vaginally) with her fingers or an object is committing rape.  Women can also rape men through vaginal intercourse.  Quite simply, an erection does not equal consent.  Erections are physiological responses that may or may not correspond with mental arousal — and even if they did, arousal isn’t consent, either.  A woman can rape this way through threats, power imbalance, manipulation of the penis, or by beginning penetration when the victim has an erection in his sleep, to name a few examples.

The idea that men can’t be raped by women rests on several rape myths — only a few of which I’ll list here.  The first is that rape can only be committed by physical force, and the assumption that all men are stronger than all women.  A second related to ideas of strength is that a victim who does not fight back was not really raped.  Another is the idea that physical arousal equals consent.  And particularly prominently featured is the idea that all men constantly want to have sex with all women, and therefore ought to be considered “lucky” to be raped.

This last rape myth — perhaps the most appalling of all — is seen particularly prominently when the male victim is a minor, and the female perpetrator an adult, which is believed to be the most common type of rape committed by women.  Male victims of statutory rape are often dismissed with claims that he “wanted it” and is “lucky” to have been raped by an older woman.  Men will also frequently police such male expressions of victimization with statements like “I wish that was me.”

But male victims of statutory rape, and all rape, are just as harmed as female victims.  And men do not “want” or “deserve” their rapes any more than women.  Which is to say, not at all.

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